Archive for September, 2008

learning to breathe. . .

for the past few weeks hoping that maybe we will be back together, its just a dream that i don’t want to wake up anymore. . i been suffering too much. can’t think right, can’t do my things that i want to do without pretending, can’t start my life again. .its east to say to move on but the hardest part is how. how will you get back with your life knowing that every things gone, every plans hangs and can continue because it cause you a lot to move on with your lives. i felt this before. everything i got hurt so bad my life is miserable. i am so much depend in a relationship. that is my life, my everything, so when the time comes to this, its just like you throw yourself to the cliff without knowing when you hit the takes time, yes i know that but can i skip it so that i can move on totally to my life? if possible maybe a few days I’m OK now. i feel i ave nothing. i have no work, no one o talk to, no social life because i spend more time in our house,(money is also involve that’s why i cant go out every night), my knowledge is getting rusty because I’m lock up in our house and nothing to do to make me busy so i can’t think too much of her, and last thing that i have but also gives up is her, my life, my everything, my happiness, my strenght to keep fighting to fix my life. . . . but now. . . they are all gone. . i know i mess up, i know my mistakes, but its she gave up and not even try to work it out again. I’m not mad, not blaming her for what she want, I’m just scared, to feel alone again, I’m not ready for this but i know someday it will happen. and it happen. . . i keep hoping hoping for her to get back. i still waits for her to come back again. . .we learned our mistake before so i keep believing to myself that someday we will be together again. .

this is one of my favorite movie that i can watch it all over again. . i feel the so much love even thought they didn’t end up together. . i can relate in a different way. so much love that i gave will cause you to lose the her. .what happen to us its just like in the movie. . but she doesn’t have cancer! hehe. . even she’s gone the love still remains. . .we used to get married then but it didn’t happen. also in the movie there’s an issue in religion.also i have an issue in religion with her. her family is not a catholic. they are iglesia ni cristo. I’m willing to sacrifice for good to convert, but now, its just all in dreams. most specially in this clip is the song. . it makes me live and realize to move on and breathe again. .this is the song i wanted to sing to her. if i will be given another chance to choose. . . breathe again. . . or wait for her to come back. . its a hard decision. . for now, im happy in a different way that i love her so much even though it hurts to realize shes gone. . .

This is a way that I say I need You
This is a way that I say I love You
This is a way that I say I’m Yours
This is a way
This is a way

PS. i didn’t know the last part. .hehehe. . all it matter is the song. . .if you understand send me some transalation. . hehehe. .